The unquestioning Indian

History says that India, in the past 5000 years has not attacked any country. On the contrary, it has been time and again invaded by foreign powers, only to have got absorbed in this melting pot of diverse cultures, languages, customs, cuisine etc. Poets have sung paeans in praise of this land. The song 'jahan daal daal par sone ki chidiya karti hai basera, woh Bharat desh hai mera', is supposed to be aptly describing this country. But if we close our eyes for a moment and go back in history, we would actually be struggling to find this 'sone ki chidiya'. Then have we been taken for a ride and made to believe that such a time did exist? Have we been betrayed? We might fumble for answers but one thing becomes very clear that this land is no more a land of great virtue and morals that we are so used to hearing. In fact we find ourselves staring mutely at corruption, scandals, black money and other immoral activities that are so unbecoming of a land that takes pride in its glorious past.

So what ails this nation? Why is it that we are steeped in corruption? Where is the country that our freedom fighters had envisioned for us? If we look closely we'll find that the answer lies in the fact that we have, for centuries, been trained to accept things unconditionally, because questioning is a serious offence here. The land subjected to so many attacks by outsiders has weathered it and made it submissive to its fate, so much so that we do not question even if there is violation of our basic right. One is not supposed to hurt the ego of the person in power. As children, how many times have we been asked by the elders to do a certain thing in a certain way without asking questions? The same attitude has seeped into us as adults and we go about the grind, without questioning. We are not encouraged to ask. We are encouraged only to act.

When we grease the palms of the officials, our main priority is to get our work done. Damn the others! Do we stop and question ourselves whether we are doing the right thing? We talk about morals and ethics that our culture teaches. But where does it go when the wrong doing is from our side? The answer is simple - we are too scared to fight for what is rightfully ours. We seriously need a reality check before we preach others what our culture stands for. How many of us can say that we haven't bribed anybody till now to get our work done, not paid donations to get our children admitted to school, not paid black money to the builder while buying a house? I am sure the numbers would be just a handful and these people would be still going around in circles in frustration. We know that we are safe if we turn a blind eye to what has been happening around us. Who wants to get involved in these problems? Survival itself is a headache here. Who has time for the society? The roads are ridden with potholes, but we do not question anybody where our tax money goes. Corrupt officials loot this country, but we do not question how they amassed such a wealth. Cheaters and murderers are our politicians, but we do not question, how they got to fill the nomination papers. Whistle blowers are killed, but we do not question what is being done to bring the culprits to book. Statues are being erected using people's money, but we do not question why the villages do not have proper roads, electricity, schools and basic medical facilities. Farmers are committing suicides, but we go about our work as though they are not a part of this society. We have just become unquestioning Indians stuck in a vicious circle of lies and more lies and the situation has reached such a level that we are now unable to face ourselves.

On what basis do we say 'Mera Bharat Mahan'? We are only reveling in the past that is dead and gone. We have cleverly wrapped the stark naked present in a coloured cloak of glorified past, because that is only way we can feel happy. We are actually scared to face the truth. This is because if we speak the truth all of us will be affected in one way or the other and nobody wants that. We are a society full of frightened individuals and rightly so, going by the history of people been killed who dared to challenge the fraudsters. This is the reason why we have a laid back attitude. We are very well aware of what is happening around us, but we have chosen to remain helpless. The system is becoming rotten by the day and we are the ones responsible for it. But we do not want to accept responsibility. What we do is simply submit ourselves to fate and look heavenwards for a messiah to come and hand over deliverance in a packet!

Then is there hope? We can affect change in the society only if we resolve to change ourselves. Of course it is easier said than done. Coming out of this never ending circle of lies and deception is going to take enormous effort from our side, but it has to begin somewhere. The movement of Anna Hazare has no doubt gained momentum; the reason is collective frustration of the people, which has been boiling in the insides like lava and threatening to erupt for a long time. Yes, we need to express this frustration and in Anna we have seen that messiah. But unless we resolve to change ourselves, no amount of Annas could bring about a change in the society. There is a general feeling that Anna has a golden sparrow in his hand; and the Jan Lokpal Bill is a magic document. Now, everybody is riding on this new found wave of patriotism. But if we do not get what has been promised, then what? Maybe we'll just go back being our old selves. And even if some version of the Lokpal bill is passed, would we stop for a moment to ask if things are working smoothly? We need to come out of this mold of being an unquestioning Indian and start looking within us, questioning ourselves, and search for answers within. Until then we do not have any business saying 'Mera Bharat Mahan'.

Narcissist fare

Narcissus, the handsome youth in the Greek mythology, had never seen himself in a mirror. So when he happened to look into a lake, he fell in love with his reflection, not knowing that it was his own image. So obsessed he became that he died pining for it. Little did he know that in modern times, his very name would denote a personality trait. We all have a little narcissist tendency in us. Well, that's normal. It is not a crime to love oneself, but a sane person would never allow it to become an object of obsession.

Now, in these times of incessant media bombardment for products ranging from diapers to cars, how can one escape from not being attracted to them? We come across people in our daily lives, highly pre-occupied with self-admiration, and mask their lack of self-esteem, behind a veil of boisterous talks, to the point that others might find it irritating, tiring or even hilarious. This obsession is further fuelled by companies who go to any lengths to portray an unrealistic picture, to push their sales. So in such an environment, how can one remain unaffected? The pester power that children wield has greatly helped the advertisers to laugh all the way to the bank. The pressure to possess the latest gadgets or follow a latest trend is immense. Or else there is that fear of being branded as outdated. And nobody likes that! So is it my fault if I become a narcissist? Why, even the friend's pet dog wants to go to the salon for grooming!

How is easy it has become to be obsessed with something! It feels nice to wear a brand, but to become a slave of brands is something else. The page 3 scenario is abuzz with activities and excitement. How can I help if it makes me feel left out, incomplete and unwanted? The celebrity culture is thrust upon us. If an actress repeats a dress, it makes headlines as though the economy of the country depends upon it. Every celebrity has jumped into the charity bandwagon. What would've happened to all the orphans, mentally and physically challenged kids, without the celebrities making an appearance with them? Aren't they really blessed? Whether there is a launch of a certain brand, or a film is about to be released or for the sake of publicity, these celebrities seem to don many feathers in their hats. Sigh! It makes me aware of being a lesser mortal. The air-brushed photographs of 40 something actresses make any twenty some things feel ashamed of themselves. The cosmetic surgeons have never had a better time. So who is to be blamed if the acquaintance’s daughter wants that Angelina Jolie pout? Certainly not she!

And then how can we leave out the politicians. Any road or a bridge cannot be thrown open to the public, without the local leader not inaugurating it. After all he was behind the very construction of it! And then how about taking credit for anything and everything that has turned out well and washing hands off something that raises concern? How many times we find people in power throwing their attitude around even if they have committed a mistake with a ‘you-don’t-know-who-I-am’ look? Well, you should know that they survive on the staple diet of flattery. Are they responsible for their behaviour? We all know the answer

Still unaffected by all the things happening around you? Great! Its time you went to the forest to meditate. After all, this world is maya (a highly misinterpreted term)! And for all those who would like to survive this game called life, here is the secret recipe;

Ingredients: 1 cup arrogance, 2 cups exaggeration, 1 tablespoon indifferent attitude, 3 tablespoons non-empathy, shamelessness as required, thankless attitude for garnishing.

Method: Mix a little arrogance with exaggeration, add to it an indifferent attitude, grind these with a non-empathetic stance towards others, and sprinkle it with talks as though others are waiting only to listen to you. Stir well. Finally garnish it with thanklessness. And voila.... you get a perfect narcissist fare. Serve it to others with a shameless attitude. Can serve any number of people.

Psychology of anger

"Aaaa......eeeee", a shrill sound pierced the air. The woman in blue had caught hold of another woman by her hair, who in turn twisted her tormentor's wrist. Some came to separate the two, while others just watched the scene out of curiosity. Verbal abuses flowed freely. No, this is not some film shooting, but a real life scene in the 9.30 a.m. crowded Mumbai local. Anger, being the dominant mood at this hour of the day, no one has the patience or time to listen to others.

So we come to our question, ‘what makes us angry?’ Are we angry because of fear? Fear of losing a beloved one, fear of losing a job, fear of not having achieved something bigger, fear of losing money, fear of complacency, fear of facing tomorrow.... we have no idea of what all we fear from. The list is endless. Or are we angry because others have achieved more than us, others seem happier than us, others have more friends than us or others seem to enjoy life more than us? Or is it because we cry over missed opportunities, over life having slipped away from our fingers, over wrong choices we make? Or is the anger directed on someone whom we squarly blame for the situation we are in? Whatever the case may be, there is some anger in everybody which manifests in different forms. Everyone is supremely engrossed in his or her own life and the stress associated with it.

Generally we come across two categories of people, each on the opposite end of the poles. There are the ones who are perpetually angry and make a noise even if the speed breaker is just lying there, mutely. They don’t make it to an event on time because their speed was rudely cut short by that dumb wall-of a speed breaker. They are angry because there is too much or too less work in the office or their assistant is not capable enough. They are also angry because the Indian cricket team did not win the match or that the players are spoilt dirty that they don’t deserve to win. They are angry at the government policies, the bureaucracy and red-tapism, the corruption at the grass root level and its general apathy towards the betterment of the country. They are angry at the lackadaisical attitude of the people of this country to take-on the government head-on and teach a lesson. They are angry because the mosquito bit them! The mosquito had no business behaving in this manner. Phew..!! That makes for a long list. Such people are forever angry and antagonize others with their behaviour.

Then there the people who can hardly be provoked into losing their cool. For them everything happens because it was predestined to happen. It was designed that way. They have no control over it. So nothing pretty much affects them. These are the ones who are so calm that it makes others around them furious, because Mr. Cool is never angry at anything. Even if they are treated like a foot mat, they don’t bother. Only when the cauldron is full, that the anger comes flowing out like red hot lava. God forbid if that happens! For, hell hath no fury than a calm person scorned!

And then there is this justification for anger. It is always the other person who is wrong. But when we are wrong, are we bold enough to accept our mistakes? No! This non-acceptance gives rise to more anger and we see everybody around us seething with fury. When we take the larger picture, anger has been responsible for the destruction of civilizations.

Anger or ‘raudra’ as a 'rasa' is given a predominant importance, in Sanskrit dramatics, by Bharat muni, in his treatise ‘Natyasastra’. Thus we find anger in creativity too! All said and done, anger is the mainstay in humans, for it is anger that needles us to achieve those seemingly impossible tasks. Constructive anger does lead us to glory but destructive anger is all gory.